While interviewing the Bella Garcia, I typed her responses and made note of her tone after she responded to each question.
- When did you start feeling like this?/When did this all start? - It started when I was young. As a child/toddler I was considered to be chubby. Of course my mother always said it was baby fat, Even though I tried to take that into consideration, comments from relatives and friends, whether endearing or not. It still hurt. It still affected me. My dad, my grandmother, and any older relative would call me "gorda" which means chubby or fat in Spanish.
- Did you ever keep it to yourself? - In a way yes and in a way no. I would make comments about it to other but in a joking manner. As long as I laughed along, I could get through it. There would be times where I would break down and vent to my older sister. Tell her how the comments of other made me feel. I would tell my mom how it affected me as well. Usually my mother would tell me to pay no mind to what others had to say.
- Did you ever try to seek guidance? - No. Not really. I felt as though I would be told the same thing,"Lose weight, eat healthier, your fine the way you are". They just did't seem to get through to me. Nothing that they would say would make me love myself, maybe just for a second or a day, but the feeling wasn't permanent.
- Has the way you were feeling ever affect the people around you? - I didn't think it did. I thought this whole thing involved myself, that it was my problem to deal with and anyone who wanted to a part of it had no right. I didn't think that my family or friends would feel helpless when they realized my mind was set up the way it was.
- What made you want to change?/Who made you change?/Why did you want to make this change? - What made me change was actually was in fact music.I started listening K-POP and slowly felt myself get immersed into their world. There are many groups that make music for this genre but there is one particular group that had moved me the most, BTS. Of course, while becoming a fan of K-POP I was ridiculed by everyone who disliked it. "How can you understand it if it's in a different?" or " Oh, is that those Chinese boys you listen to?" and so much more. What they didn't understand that their songs, their lyrics, had such deep meaning about self-love, following your dreams, and helping each other rather than bringing them down. Once I became a fan, after looking at all their translated lyrics, I realized I needed to make a change. I was worthy. I also wouldn't be the first person to learn to love themselves from BTS.
- What were the steps you took to improve your thoughts of yourself? - I started by thinking positive thoughts about myself. Whenever I tried on new clothes, I would always think of something negative however, every time I had a bad thought, I would prove that it was a lie and try to find the positive. For instance, when wearing a new shirt and I didn't like the way my body looked in it I would think "I look fat". But I knew it wasn't true. I would start being optimistic, such as saying, "The color flatters my skin... And the shirt shows off my best qualities." I also would start ignoring what the media wanted me to be. When it comes to media representation of teen girls, they always have perfect skin and a skinny waist. I never saw anyone like me. I had to keep in mind that these "teen" girls were edited into perfection. I am human and it would be impossible for me to ever look like that. Not even with all the plastic surgery can change who I really am.
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